Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
