idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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