Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
