The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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