a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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