He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
