her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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