i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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