Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
