What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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