i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
