Already got asked if we're dating
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
