My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
