when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
