If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
