I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
