does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
