It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
