Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
