Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
