True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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