I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
