I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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