Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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