Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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