He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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