I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
