i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We talked him into tasing himself.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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