Duck Duck Cougar?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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