your thong is hanging out like whoa
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
