We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He has the fingertips of a God
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