I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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