i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
