Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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