conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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