he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
