Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
