The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Randomize
