next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
