Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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