So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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