its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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