don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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