ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
