thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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