just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
