if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just want nice things and good sex
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
