when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I think I won the penis lottery.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
