why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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