Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
soo... how was my night?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
