I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
